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Hot People Running – The REAL Distracted Driving Problem

April 30, 2012 by Rick Howington Leave a Comment

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has called for a federal law to ban all cell phone use while driving any type of vehicle on any road.  However, they are missing the real culprit of distracted driving – hot people running.  Hot shirtless guys and scantily clad girls running on the side of the road are MUCH more of a distraction than cell phones. We must pass a law to stop hot people from running!

While many states already ban texting and driving, this nationwide law will take it a step further so that even a chat on a cell phone is a crime if done while behind the wheel.  It turns out the “Failure to Control” laws that have been on the books for a long time could cover texting and cell phone use while driving as well as other stupid stuff.  So these anti-texting laws were total a waste of taxpayer money.   And studies from places with texting bans show no significant decrease in traffic accidents.  So there is no reason to believe a nationwide ban on cell use while driving will make the roads safer.

Yet the real criminals still allowed to run on the side of busy roads exposing their ripped abs and sweaty bosoms.  The insanity!

Honestly, if we ban all cell phone usage while driving we should just ban driving all together.  Driving is very distracting.  Imagine how much safer the roads will be with no one driving.

Everyone will be safer if we just nip it in bud and outlaw driving, except those auto-insurance companies whose hefty profits will drop like the Titanic. But if there are anti-cellphone laws then insurance profits will soar due to higher premiums from the increase of traffic citations.  Um, makes you think about who these laws are really trying to help.

And hotties running are road hazards that cause whiplash as drivers spin around to get another look.  This in turn contributes to rising health care cost.  Cell phones do not cause whiplash, making hot people an even more menacing problem.

How much more proof do you need.  Hot people running must be outlawed!

Just to be clear, people who are not hot should still be allowed to run.  I mean, we don’t want to encourage laws that are biased against the ugly!

I tried to bring attention to this problem several years ago (see Stop Hot People from Running).  However, this latest recommendation from the NHTSA shows that we are missing the point.

We need to clean our roads so they do not look like an Abercrombie and Fitch photo-shoot.
Call your Congressperson and tell them we need to stop this:

 

Filed Under: Biology, Front Page




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